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| Company Party |
A man and his wife went to the company Christmas party where the man has a little too much to drink.
On the next morning he staggers down the stairs, completely hung over, and makes his way to breakfast. His wife gives him a cup of coffee.
With his head in his hand, he asks "Damn, honey." "What happened last night?"
She replies, "It wasn't a pretty sight."
He asks, "What do you mean?"
"Well" she replies, "You were not on your best behavior and your boss was extremely upset."
"He was", he moans.
"Yes" she replies, "He sure was."
"Aahhh, PISS ON HIM!" he says.
"You did," she replies. "Honey, You got fired last night."
"I got fired?" he questions.
"Yes" she answers "You got fired"
"Aahhh, FUCK HIM!" he says.
She replies, "I did, you start back Monday morning!" |
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| Blonde Painter |
An ambitious young blonde woman, in need of money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type. She began, door to door, canvassing a wealthy neighborhood for work. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.
“Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?”
The blonde said, “How about 50 dollars?” The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
“You’re finished already?” he asked.
“Yes,” the blonde answered, “and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats.” Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50.
“And by the way,” the blonde added, “that’s not a Porch, it’s a Ferrari.” |
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